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Dear Visitors,
As a lawyer I used to get upset at lawyer jokes. But now, I have learned to live with and
even enjoy them. |
Frank Lindner
Attorney at Laugh |
Above picture: Frank
Lindner seen at the
court representing his clients like a lion.
"LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law."
A. Bierce
"A countryman
between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats."
Benjamin Franklin
 | A newly established lawyer, wanting to
impress the first client coming into his office, picked up the phone and said, "I'm
sorry, but I have a tremendous case load and won't be able to look into this for at least
a month." He then hung up, turned to the young man in his office and asked,
"What can I do for you, sir?" "Nothing," replied the young man.
"I'm just here to hook up your phone." |
| Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities. |
| It was so cold last winter that I
saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. |
| Q: Why won't sharks attack
lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
 Now here are some "Real standing" and
"Joyful" Laws from United States of America...
Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop
a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
Florida:
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk
arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as
it would for a vehicle.
4. [SARASOTA] It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Illinois:
1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated
animal which are kept as pets.
Indiana:
1. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
2. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public
streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
Iowa:
1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Kentucky:
1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot
hold onto the ground."
2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Louisiana:
1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting
someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
Massachusetts:
1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee
for the privilege of wearing one in public. |
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It is time to
make a change
when your lawyer starts to look like this... |
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